What Happens in Dollar General Stays in Dollar General

At the moment, I’m working between 60 and 70 hours a week.  Mostly due to the fact that I took a vacation during June’s month-end close, and we recently lost a staff accountant.  I’ve been purposely seeking time management tactics to help me balance my life a bit better during this time…. By the way, if you’re interested in that sort of thing… this isn’t a bad podcast…

I took the day off today even though I’m afraid I’ll regret it later in the month… yesterday I was interviewing someone and they asked me what CPA stood for and I honestly couldn’t remember.  So I decided this might be an indication that I need a break.

On the way home from work last night I called and scheduled myself for a massage.

As I was driving to Massage Envy today, I was thinking about the various errands I need to run, and thinking about ways I can manage my time better, get things off my plate, etc.  One of my weekly errands is going to Dollar General to pick up the week’s supply of Mountain Dew Kickstart, which is $1 at DG versus $1.35 at Wal-Mart.  (See this entry for more details about my addiction- Good news!  They’ve brought my flavor back to the States!)

As I was waiting for my massage therapist, I was wondering if I could find a way to get my Kickstart delivered, maybe I could even do some sort of auto-order service or something… so I looked it up, and sure enough, I can order it through Amazon and it’s even cheaper than Dollar General, and if I order a two month supply at a time, there wouldn’t be shipping… and hey look you can get an even bigger discount if you do an auto-order.

So I signed up.

My first order won’t arrive until Thursday though, and I currently have only one cold Kickstart in the fridge at home, which obviously is not enough to make it until Thursday.  So after my massage, I stopped at Dollar General to refill this week’s stash… One last time.

I filled up my cart with 6 Kickstarts and a candy bar, and got behind a woman who was buying three small items: deodorant, a pack of gum, and toenail clippers.

The clerk bagged her items in a very large bag.  The woman told her she didn’t need that big of a bag.  The clerk explained that they were out of normal sized bags, and these were all the bags she had.  The woman huffed and puffed, and made exaggerated movements lugging the huge heavy bag off of the counter… and stormed out of the store, pissed off at the universe.

The clerk sighed and began to ring up my items.

Clerk:  People are really freaking out about these bags.  I’m not sure what to tell them, we’re out of regular bags!

Me:  Did you see the way she drug that bag off the counter like it weighed 20 pounds?

Clerk:  Yeah you wouldn’t think a huge plastic bag would make her two pounds of stuff weigh that much, would you?

Me:  No, but I guess that’s why I’m an accountant and not a physicist.  Apparently, I just don’t understand the way the world works.

Customer behind me:  *guffaws*

The clerk finishes bagging my stuff, and apologizes for the huge bag. I told her I have bigger things to worry about, and I hope her day gets better.

I walk out to my car, pop the trunk, and load up my precious Kickstarts.  As I’m getting in the car, the man who was in line behind me walks out.  I notice him staring at the front of my car, turning as he walks past it to look back at it. He gets to the other side of the car and motions for me to roll down my window.  Thinking he’s about to tell me I have a flat tire or a dead body dragging, I oblige.

Him:  I know this is gonna sound weird, but… are you married?

Me:  Um. Well yes, I am.

Him:  Well damn. You’re a really beautiful woman. And you seem so sweet.

Me:  Aw. Thank you!

Him:  Do you live around here?

Me:  Oh, no, actually… I just stop here sometimes on my way home from errands to get my soda.

Him:  Oh. Well.  Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.  I live just up the road.  I’m in here all the time!

Me:  Ah. Well, maybe you will.  Have a good weekend!

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was hoping to never have to go to Dollar General again, thanks to Amazon.

Fate can be a cruel mistress sometimes.